‘Cry Macho’ will make you cry in boredom | Arts + Culture

Last week, Clint Eastwood dragged his bones in front of the camera for his 65th movie role – yes, 65th. Eastwood directs and stars in new Warner Bros. movie. “Cry Macho”, based on the 1975 novel by N. Richard Nash, and it’s the perfect movie to put babies to sleep or to entertain your dog while you go to the grocery store.

“Cry Macho” provides just about everything you’d expect from a movie by one of Hollywood’s oldest actors / directors that you probably thought was dead: extended footage of barren wasteland, an overabundance of cowboy hats. boy and a woman’s sexual advances under half the age of the senior man. It’s like the 1950s again.

The story begins with the character of Mike, played by a 91-year-old corpse who looks like Eastwood. In a first scene filled with characters talking to each other like they’re babies, we learn that Mike was once a big rodeo star, but his life was derailed when his wife and daughter died in a car crash.

Since then he has struggled with drug and alcohol addiction and seems to have lost interest in his job and job. This all takes place in about four lines of dialogue.

Moments later, his ex-boss hires him to travel to Mexico to pick up his son, who lives with his mother south of the border. Mike accepts and the “real” plot of the film begins.

Unfortunately, the “real” plot sucks. Eastwood’s character and his boss’s son, played by newcomer Eduardo Minett (it’s unclear whether he realizes he’s in a movie or not), are on the run, but we don’t learn not really why. Despite a seemingly high-stakes situation, the pair spend a lot of time hanging out. They return to the same cantina over and over again for much of the film, knowing they are in danger.

The only people who can enjoy this piece are the same geezers who have followed Eastwood since the start of his acting career, shortly after the Fall of Eden.

During his millennium in the film industry, he has become one of her most recognizable stars, with a massive portfolio. “Cry Macho” is the 39th feature film he has directed. Of those 39, he played in more than 20.

Talk about an ego, but when you’ve been in the business long enough to see the rise and fall of empires, this is something you can get away with.

But, as anyone who has managed to hold their attention past the 15-minute mark will tell you, “Cry Macho” will not be part of Eastwood’s legacy. Tired performances, shoddy direction and bad writing will erase this movie from the public consciousness before most people even hear about it.

“Cry Macho” is now playing in theaters and streaming on HBO Max. Die-hard Eastwood fans may be able to get past its many flaws, as long as they can suspend their disbelief that Mike isn’t an escaped extra from “The Walking Dead.”

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